That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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