I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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