My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
