Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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