There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My breasts were aching with rage.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
