I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
