would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
