my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
