She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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