Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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