It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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