I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize