If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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