I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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