Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
