Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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