i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
