Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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