dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
