Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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