What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
did i just pee glitter
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
