I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
