WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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