3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize