I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Randomize