If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
