how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
