Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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