I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize