This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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