i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
