I CAN MOONWALK!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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