Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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