i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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