After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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