If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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