I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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