Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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