Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
