Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
