You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I want a musical about memes.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
