He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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