This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
