did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
