I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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