My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
