i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
