Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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