Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
