reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
