Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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