can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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