He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
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Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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