I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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