but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
