Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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