Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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