Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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